Understandable?

I know it’s hard for you to understand,
What I’m going through, guided by the hand;
Hands of time, time that pushes me on,
Time that goes by, time that’s gone.

Whistling in the wilderness,  I can’t dream anymore,
The wolves took my sense and mind, then tore,
Douse the lights, the unexpected is inevitable,
Life without him, utterly incomprehensible.

Strike the match, don’t you get me now?
The show is ending, curtain call, final bow.

In this small town, here lie my big thoughts,
Life is a strategy, a game, crosses and noughts,
Sing in the shower, my mind leaps out,
The best part is there’s nothing you can do about,
It, I’m free, singing to my own words,
Wings outstretched, I soar with the birds,
I’m off again, I space out, thoughts are mine,
Yet here I am, making you see, trying to define;
Me.